D for Derrrr, why the wait

Yep D is for Doughnuts, and D is also for Delay, so apologies for not being here on time but I hope you will forgive me when I tell you the reason why.
Last week it was my, or I suppose I should say, our anniversary. They call it the Pearl one, so maybe I should have bought something pearly, but when it was explained to me that Pearl is for thirty years, I had to sit down and have a little cry, er think about what that means. Thirty years, so back in 1978 as a young and inexperienced, but incredibly handsome young boy, I was ripped from my mothers house and sent out into the big bad world. Thirty years. Now half of the three of you reading this wasn’t even born then. And there I was moving into a small newly built flat in Wexham, where we came face to face with our first poltergeist. Now that’s another story for another Day but back to the anniversary, and the other shock that became apparent as I sat there wiping my wet eyes is that seeing as I had no D for Daughters at home to buy a card for me, I had to boldly go where no Lessall has gone before. I walked into a newsagent, and looked at the cards. Now I am not that experienced at buying cards, its an art i am told that take years to master, one i am glad to say i have not. and ever since the girls have been old enough to cross the road I have got one of them to buy them for me. Birthday, Xmas etc, me and my money have not been parted for the price of a piece of cardboard. I was a virgin again.
They will at least look at the cards, read the message and buy what’s appropriate. Where as I look at the price and buy the most inexpensive. its a case of in and out as fast as i can as the Bishop once said, twice, on his third account. now don't start me on reliegion, thats a real 5 pager. So for the first time in about 15 years, my wife got a card that I have bought, but also probably the smallest one she has ever received. To say it could have fitted inside a match box is an exaggeration, just. But hey it’s the thought that counts and I thought my girls were cruel to make me go out and buy one.
There was at least three cards of similar value. So I stood looking at the cards not knowing what to do. when suddenly I realised I was being watched. I needed to act quickly.
Now this is the weird thing. If I was looking at the stuff on the top shelf, flicking them open and leering at the pages. excuse me while i wipe my mouth with a tissue, or opening the big girls calendar 2009 ( priced £1.99 published by the Definate Maybe society in conjunction with the Silicon enhancement Society ) and stopping at Miss May, and hope she Might, and if she did would she for me. ( But hey that’s just a D for Dream. ) I would not feel embarrassed, but looking at anniversary cards was really weird
So after careful consideration and lots of looking over my shoulder, I plumped for the pink one. Well it is more feminine than the blue one or the one with the photograph of the 23 stone rugby guy being grabbed by the shorts ( nothin personal meant there ) and lifted in to the air.
But it was close. If the man behind the counter hadn’t pointed me out to one of his customers who with a tut of her head, and boy that was something to see, I might have been there still. as it was i bought the card, asked for a brown paper bag, placed the card in my pocket, yes it was that small, and used the brown paper bag to collect the rubbish that had built up inside the car. where does that come from? empty chip cans, coke wrappers, chewing biscuits and not least chocolate gum. maybe i got as bit confused at this stage.
But the card was bought and I done the hubby thing and gave it to her in advance. So being the man of romance I also offered to take her to the local pub for a nice little meal and half a shandy, well for Christ sakes it has been thirty years. And she has been washing my smalls for along time. I meant underwear in case anyone was thinking anything different. So I thought Scampi and Shandy was a good touch. But couldn't understand why the funny face when i suggested we went halves on the bill, for Christ sakes its my anniversary as well. Did she think all i wanted was a bloody card!!!!!
Well i did get something else as well later that evening :)
A box of washing powder and told to clean my own bloody smalls. hows that for being ungrateful. Anyway that over and done with it was time to get back to normality, which meant the next segment of my A -Z. so when Saturday came, I had a pre planned bit of carpentry to be taken care of, then to sit down and explain about D for Doughnuts. And its not just those lovely sugary wonderfully tasting buns made by Sainsbury and eaten by me. No the word Doughnut goes back to my youth but we D for Digress. The younger of the D for Daughters came over with D for Danny and Little Aflie and all of a sudden we was off around Windsor, doing a bit of shopping and feeding the D for Ducks. Well to cut a long story short. Short !!!! Yeah I thought that would go down well, we got back home and found the Lessall D for Domicile full of friends, family and ffff neighbours. The D for Daughters had arranged a surprise party for us. The anniversary has been prolonged. Well as a fifty something husband and a Doting Dad I did the only thing i could do in this situation I proceed to get D for Drunk. That red wine was sooooooo nice.
So a big thanks to the girls and for the big man and family, who my mum says looks like my older brother she gave away at birth, for all the hard work. It was a great surprise and we D for Dedicate this to all of them who turned up and made an old man very happy, plus me and the Mrs.
Thanks
Anyway basically I did not write it cause I could not. Early to bed then not to much to do on Sunday and then its Monday and boy was I late. So here is my formal apology.
Normal service will be resumed as long as I am not tempted to D for Drink again.
So what did you get up to this weekend?