A is for ASBO's

So what do you think of my picture? Cool eh? Well its not really me. or did you think it was?
I have a question about photo’s. think before you answer as no prizes for getting it wrong.
But when I have my photo taken, do I look like the guy in photo, or does the guy in the photo look like me? or do we not look like anyone apart from ourselves?
Take your time, these thing can not be rushed
This is very important for me as I am currently waiting for a decision in the high court about my schizophrenia case.
At the moment its looking like a split decision, a bit like my personality, but I am fairly confident of the case being found in my favour, NO IN MINE, no in mine, MINE, get out, you don’t exist, I DO, you don’t. I HATE YOU
Anyway,as I was saying, NO I WAS SAYING. What ever!!!
I, or we, have always wondered if we see each other the same way as others see each other. I mean I can see two arms, two legs etc, but do I see them the same way as you see them?, do my arms look the same way to you as they do to me?
Because its well known in certain circles, mainly crop circles, that I have a striking resemblance to George Clooney. well in the dark I do...
But then I probably look a lot like Fern Britton in the dark as well.
On the other hand, once when naked in the dark, I was called Lassie, so maybe that's not a good example
Anyway my mum used to say I have the ability to turn heads...usually by grabbing them firmly by the side and exerting a lot of force sideways and that's how I got me the first of my ASBO's ( May 2001 )
ASBO? ( Anti Social Behaviour Order ) it was born out of the much praised a Crime & Disorder Act 1998, remember that dozy, just in time for the new millennium and heralded a new way for the criminally insane to monitor their performance against others of their ilk.
So I’m in good company,
Then the ASBO was strengthened, by our wonderful government, by making it more of an honour, by creating a completely new piece of law called the Anti-Social Behaviour Act 2003. so we can’t control this anti social behaviour, so instead lets make it more glamorous.
So Tony Blah Blah Blah Invited a few second rate celebs over for a party at tax payers expense and then changed a few laws so Mrs Blah Blah Blah can make more money from the British tax payer. Or should I say the English tax payer, as we continue to subsidise Europe, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, the World Economy, Martian Motocross Championships, Moon Walking, Undersea Kite Sailing and not to mention, the British Olympic fiasco. And in keeping 50 unmanned police stations open in the North West of England for the locals to attack.
If I missed you out I do apologise but I have limited space

Back to ASBO’s, I am very proud of them, HE IS, yes I said that I was, I don’t need you repeating it I have had them framed and keep them in a large cabinet that I have built under the stair case, and when life gets too stressful then I climb inside the cabinet and look at all my pictures I have collected over the years, well mainly the illegal Meg Ryan ones, wow are they something. She can really get my boat sailing.
Oh yeah and that was another ASBO, ( October 2003 )
So the question is, do you reckon if I get three ASBO's then I can keep them?
Bit like the football World Cup. Win it three times and keep the trophy, so I get three ASBO’s and I get my name on the ASBO hall of fame. I feel its something the government should think about.
I mean they have spent so much time money on this that it seems silly not to honour all those who have gone out of there way to get one. I have worked hard for my two, but no one seems to show me the respect I deserve. I think I should be given a badge just like birthday badges, I could get a nice red one with the number 2 on it.
Maybe we should run a design an ASBO badge?
And also issue certificates, why give so much publicity if you do not recognise the achievements?
What about the ASBO Olympics? Team GB would win all the medals in that?