Lets just go over the definition of Bastard again:
1 insulting terms of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous
2 the illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents
3 bogus: fraudulent; having a misleading appearance
4 derogatory term for a variation that is not genuine; something irregular or inferior or of dubious origin
well it seems I have missed the two biggest B’s of the moment Brand and Woss.
I have to admit that the Daily Mail is bought into my home every day, including the Mail on Sunday, and that it very rare I read the front. Usually I start on the back page and head inland until the sport ends. The Mail and news are so far apart they are the blind mans Sun, without the boobs. Well physical ones anyway. Just looking at some of their columnists is enough to convince you they are full of Tits. But this one really caught my eye. I blame the wife for throwing it at me like a boomerang, the corner nearly ripping the eye out of its sockets. And there covered in splattering of blood and eye, was this story of the two HE-MEN of the BBC ( another B ) and one already in my bad books from the last post, thinking it funny to leave a kindly, gentlemanly, inoffensive old man, age 78,( the Newspapers description and not mine ) who I believe was to be a guest on the show but couldn’t make it, so they decided oh what fun it would be to have a laugh at his expense.
Now I don’t care if it's a man of 78, a lad of 18, a woman of 36 or like me a senile old Bugger of 52, but in any ones language that is not the action of two grown men. I could accept, with a slap of the leg, and confiscation of their favourite toy, that this could have been the action of a 7 year old and his younger mate, but two supposedly grown up men, one with daughters of his own. ( see definition 1 above )
so hot of the press tonight we hear that they had been suspended, not by the neck, but from work, i would guess on full pay, a fantastic amount of publicity, and a week off to enjoy the weather. then Mr Brand decides to resign, well whoopee. so instead of facing up to the consequences of his actions, the harrasment of a fellow human being, he runs a way, a real HE-MAN.
Now, what I am wondering, and i have no problem in pushing the boundaries of comedy to new places, ( but I am sure that Monty Python never resorted to these tactics to get a cheap laugh), nor do i advocate the censorship of free speech But what really gets my goat, and where does that expression come from? As I was saying, what really gets my goat, is that if you or me did that the old guy up the road, we’d be arrested, more than likely prosecuted for threatening behaviour or at least Bullying Probably fined, or even depending on how threatening / disgusting the message was, spend a few days / weeks with the compliments of HRH.
but like politicians they gang together, so they will probably get away with it.
what Brand will get is a bigger contract at another station, Mr BBC ( or Jonafawn Woss ) will now stop his torrent of mild porography on the TV for a few weeks then get a bigger contract out of it.( i can use more swear words than you and do it on liveTV because the rules of decency and good taste stops when the music starts on my program. and because i can shuld louder than you i can get away with it ) class act mate
therefore in my humble opinion, they should be reported to the police, as it is Bullying. we hear everyday of young children who are Bullied at school and resort to the ultimate release, and here we have two overpaid, egotitical people who revelled in bullying that man. or will the BBC (Bullying By Clowns ) do the ultimate B and Bottle it
Get My Goat, point of history here, some say its an old American expression from the early 20th century, some say it derives from Northern Country folk who believe goats have a calming effect on milking cows and racing horses, so if you wanted to disrupt your neighbours cows or annoy a horse before a race you would steal the goat from the barn / stable. See who said I couldn’t educate as well
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
Saturday, 25 October 2008
B is 4 Ba****d
One of the good things is that so far I have not Burst in to song, well ok that's a bit difficult in a blog, but I could start on my poetry. Unfortunately I am a bit of a Bavian, when I comes to poetry. You work it out.
But one of my favourite B words is Bedswerver, when you know what it means it's a great word, and did you know that Bosselated means Knobby. Now who in their right mind would use the word Bosselated when Knobby sounds much better. But then what does Knobby mean?
Well it means: having knobs;( well that surprises me ) resembling a knob; pleasantly small, that's unfortunate
Does that sound like anyone we know.?
Butt: if you say someone has a large Butt, then boy is it large, for Butt means “a unit of volume equal to two hogs heads or 126 gallons”. Now if I'd said to my Mrs Lessall tonight, that her arse is the size of two hogs head, I’d be eating my dinner through my arse for weeks. Probably with a straw
Buss: not a spelling mistake but a rude or playful kiss, mmmmm
Barton: now for all you footie fans out there, it means farmyard, which probably explains why the scouser bastard Joey Barton is always acting like an animal. Names do mean something.
And if someone ever says to you that you Blewit! That doesn’t mean you have messed it up, be aware they are calling you an edible toadstool. Whether that's an insult is up to you!!
which brings me nicelsy to a very hippy song by Marc Bolan in the early 70’s. the first line goes something like this:
“There was a time everything was fine”
Now that's shows how long ago he wrote that, cause now everything has been Bolloxed up by the government. Particularly over the last 10 years and we all know who’s to blame for that don’t we? Bill and Ben. If the BBC, ( see more stuff that begins with B, its not a good letter ) had not removed them from day time TV then BLAH, BLAH, BLAH would still have been watching them and not making a Balls up of the country. But saying that he has got some really nice houses, and cheap mortgages on them and gets a shite load of money on the “look a like” circuit. the Boy did well for himself and family but Buggered the rest of us.
thats politicians for you
but have you noticed how much he looks like a real Bastard. Its uncanny, you would think they were the same person, and Bastard brings me around to:
The definition of Bastard
asshole: insulting terms of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous
the illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents
bogus: fraudulent; having a misleading appearance
derogatory term for a variation that is not genuine;
something irregular or inferior or of dubious origin
sounds like a definition of politician to me, and of a Sc**ser.
God if one of them got big in politics we’d really be in the shite. you think its bad now, there would be nothing left standing it would all be nicked and sold at car boot sales.
anyway I have always thought that the character Rik Mayall played in The New Statesman, Alan B’Stard was just the perfect caricature of British politics. That and Yes Minister seemed to say so much about how our politicians have changed over the years. Once they were hard working, conscientious, trustworthy, not in it for the glory but to help Queen or Country. But now, apart from those Tory’s who would do anything for a good Queen, especially if his name was Nigel, they are in it for the glory, the money the power, the drugs, the porn, the fact they are above the law, and can do what they like, blame someone else and have a job for life. Well it has to change.
Sack the lot of them I say, do it now.
if not we will be in the Brown stuff, ( wow is that an understatment ) and looking for a Bush to hide behind, clever eh?
A special soon to be created "Lessall Gram" to the person who can name the most bastards, sorry politicians ,beginning with B, before the next posting on saturday 1st november.
and to finsih on an up note, Bond is Back. so B is useful now and again. oh BUM forgot that one
But one of my favourite B words is Bedswerver, when you know what it means it's a great word, and did you know that Bosselated means Knobby. Now who in their right mind would use the word Bosselated when Knobby sounds much better. But then what does Knobby mean?
Well it means: having knobs;( well that surprises me ) resembling a knob; pleasantly small, that's unfortunate
Does that sound like anyone we know.?
Butt: if you say someone has a large Butt, then boy is it large, for Butt means “a unit of volume equal to two hogs heads or 126 gallons”. Now if I'd said to my Mrs Lessall tonight, that her arse is the size of two hogs head, I’d be eating my dinner through my arse for weeks. Probably with a straw
Buss: not a spelling mistake but a rude or playful kiss, mmmmm
Barton: now for all you footie fans out there, it means farmyard, which probably explains why the scouser bastard Joey Barton is always acting like an animal. Names do mean something.
And if someone ever says to you that you Blewit! That doesn’t mean you have messed it up, be aware they are calling you an edible toadstool. Whether that's an insult is up to you!!
which brings me nicelsy to a very hippy song by Marc Bolan in the early 70’s. the first line goes something like this:
“There was a time everything was fine”
Now that's shows how long ago he wrote that, cause now everything has been Bolloxed up by the government. Particularly over the last 10 years and we all know who’s to blame for that don’t we? Bill and Ben. If the BBC, ( see more stuff that begins with B, its not a good letter ) had not removed them from day time TV then BLAH, BLAH, BLAH would still have been watching them and not making a Balls up of the country. But saying that he has got some really nice houses, and cheap mortgages on them and gets a shite load of money on the “look a like” circuit. the Boy did well for himself and family but Buggered the rest of us.
thats politicians for you
but have you noticed how much he looks like a real Bastard. Its uncanny, you would think they were the same person, and Bastard brings me around to:
The definition of Bastard
asshole: insulting terms of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous
the illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents
bogus: fraudulent; having a misleading appearance
derogatory term for a variation that is not genuine;
something irregular or inferior or of dubious origin
sounds like a definition of politician to me, and of a Sc**ser.
God if one of them got big in politics we’d really be in the shite. you think its bad now, there would be nothing left standing it would all be nicked and sold at car boot sales.
anyway I have always thought that the character Rik Mayall played in The New Statesman, Alan B’Stard was just the perfect caricature of British politics. That and Yes Minister seemed to say so much about how our politicians have changed over the years. Once they were hard working, conscientious, trustworthy, not in it for the glory but to help Queen or Country. But now, apart from those Tory’s who would do anything for a good Queen, especially if his name was Nigel, they are in it for the glory, the money the power, the drugs, the porn, the fact they are above the law, and can do what they like, blame someone else and have a job for life. Well it has to change.
Sack the lot of them I say, do it now.
if not we will be in the Brown stuff, ( wow is that an understatment ) and looking for a Bush to hide behind, clever eh?
A special soon to be created "Lessall Gram" to the person who can name the most bastards, sorry politicians ,beginning with B, before the next posting on saturday 1st november.
and to finsih on an up note, Bond is Back. so B is useful now and again. oh BUM forgot that one
Monday, 20 October 2008
A is for ASBO's
So what do you think of my picture? Cool eh? Well its not really me. or did you think it was?
I have a question about photo’s. think before you answer as no prizes for getting it wrong.
But when I have my photo taken, do I look like the guy in photo, or does the guy in the photo look like me? or do we not look like anyone apart from ourselves?
Take your time, these thing can not be rushed
This is very important for me as I am currently waiting for a decision in the high court about my schizophrenia case.
At the moment its looking like a split decision, a bit like my personality, but I am fairly confident of the case being found in my favour, NO IN MINE, no in mine, MINE, get out, you don’t exist, I DO, you don’t. I HATE YOU
Anyway,as I was saying, NO I WAS SAYING. What ever!!!
I, or we, have always wondered if we see each other the same way as others see each other. I mean I can see two arms, two legs etc, but do I see them the same way as you see them?, do my arms look the same way to you as they do to me?
Because its well known in certain circles, mainly crop circles, that I have a striking resemblance to George Clooney. well in the dark I do...
But then I probably look a lot like Fern Britton in the dark as well.
On the other hand, once when naked in the dark, I was called Lassie, so maybe that's not a good example
Anyway my mum used to say I have the ability to turn heads...usually by grabbing them firmly by the side and exerting a lot of force sideways and that's how I got me the first of my ASBO's ( May 2001 )
ASBO? ( Anti Social Behaviour Order ) it was born out of the much praised a Crime & Disorder Act 1998, remember that dozy, just in time for the new millennium and heralded a new way for the criminally insane to monitor their performance against others of their ilk.
So I’m in good company,
Then the ASBO was strengthened, by our wonderful government, by making it more of an honour, by creating a completely new piece of law called the Anti-Social Behaviour Act 2003. so we can’t control this anti social behaviour, so instead lets make it more glamorous.
So Tony Blah Blah Blah Invited a few second rate celebs over for a party at tax payers expense and then changed a few laws so Mrs Blah Blah Blah can make more money from the British tax payer. Or should I say the English tax payer, as we continue to subsidise Europe, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, the World Economy, Martian Motocross Championships, Moon Walking, Undersea Kite Sailing and not to mention, the British Olympic fiasco. And in keeping 50 unmanned police stations open in the North West of England for the locals to attack.
If I missed you out I do apologise but I have limited space
Back to ASBO’s, I am very proud of them, HE IS, yes I said that I was, I don’t need you repeating it I have had them framed and keep them in a large cabinet that I have built under the stair case, and when life gets too stressful then I climb inside the cabinet and look at all my pictures I have collected over the years, well mainly the illegal Meg Ryan ones, wow are they something. She can really get my boat sailing.
Oh yeah and that was another ASBO, ( October 2003 )
So the question is, do you reckon if I get three ASBO's then I can keep them?
Bit like the football World Cup. Win it three times and keep the trophy, so I get three ASBO’s and I get my name on the ASBO hall of fame. I feel its something the government should think about.
I mean they have spent so much time money on this that it seems silly not to honour all those who have gone out of there way to get one. I have worked hard for my two, but no one seems to show me the respect I deserve. I think I should be given a badge just like birthday badges, I could get a nice red one with the number 2 on it.
Maybe we should run a design an ASBO badge?
And also issue certificates, why give so much publicity if you do not recognise the achievements?
What about the ASBO Olympics? Team GB would win all the medals in that?
I have a question about photo’s. think before you answer as no prizes for getting it wrong.
But when I have my photo taken, do I look like the guy in photo, or does the guy in the photo look like me? or do we not look like anyone apart from ourselves?
Take your time, these thing can not be rushed
This is very important for me as I am currently waiting for a decision in the high court about my schizophrenia case.
At the moment its looking like a split decision, a bit like my personality, but I am fairly confident of the case being found in my favour, NO IN MINE, no in mine, MINE, get out, you don’t exist, I DO, you don’t. I HATE YOU
Anyway,as I was saying, NO I WAS SAYING. What ever!!!
I, or we, have always wondered if we see each other the same way as others see each other. I mean I can see two arms, two legs etc, but do I see them the same way as you see them?, do my arms look the same way to you as they do to me?
Because its well known in certain circles, mainly crop circles, that I have a striking resemblance to George Clooney. well in the dark I do...
But then I probably look a lot like Fern Britton in the dark as well.
On the other hand, once when naked in the dark, I was called Lassie, so maybe that's not a good example
Anyway my mum used to say I have the ability to turn heads...usually by grabbing them firmly by the side and exerting a lot of force sideways and that's how I got me the first of my ASBO's ( May 2001 )
ASBO? ( Anti Social Behaviour Order ) it was born out of the much praised a Crime & Disorder Act 1998, remember that dozy, just in time for the new millennium and heralded a new way for the criminally insane to monitor their performance against others of their ilk.
So I’m in good company,
Then the ASBO was strengthened, by our wonderful government, by making it more of an honour, by creating a completely new piece of law called the Anti-Social Behaviour Act 2003. so we can’t control this anti social behaviour, so instead lets make it more glamorous.
So Tony Blah Blah Blah Invited a few second rate celebs over for a party at tax payers expense and then changed a few laws so Mrs Blah Blah Blah can make more money from the British tax payer. Or should I say the English tax payer, as we continue to subsidise Europe, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, the World Economy, Martian Motocross Championships, Moon Walking, Undersea Kite Sailing and not to mention, the British Olympic fiasco. And in keeping 50 unmanned police stations open in the North West of England for the locals to attack.
If I missed you out I do apologise but I have limited space
Back to ASBO’s, I am very proud of them, HE IS, yes I said that I was, I don’t need you repeating it I have had them framed and keep them in a large cabinet that I have built under the stair case, and when life gets too stressful then I climb inside the cabinet and look at all my pictures I have collected over the years, well mainly the illegal Meg Ryan ones, wow are they something. She can really get my boat sailing.
Oh yeah and that was another ASBO, ( October 2003 )
So the question is, do you reckon if I get three ASBO's then I can keep them?
Bit like the football World Cup. Win it three times and keep the trophy, so I get three ASBO’s and I get my name on the ASBO hall of fame. I feel its something the government should think about.
I mean they have spent so much time money on this that it seems silly not to honour all those who have gone out of there way to get one. I have worked hard for my two, but no one seems to show me the respect I deserve. I think I should be given a badge just like birthday badges, I could get a nice red one with the number 2 on it.
Maybe we should run a design an ASBO badge?
And also issue certificates, why give so much publicity if you do not recognise the achievements?
What about the ASBO Olympics? Team GB would win all the medals in that?
Thursday, 16 October 2008
The First One
As with all great and long walks in life, it starts simply with the first step, so the first step in my great A- Z of life has to start with an A. but what word to I start with
Do I do one of each letter?
Or a number of words for each letter?
And then when I get to X, Q, Z is it going to be as easy as it was at D or P or S?
Easier probably I hear you say, well no I can’t hear you so say it louder please. I am getting old and my ears are getting old as well. Remember they are about the oldest part on my body, so treat them gently
That’s better I can hear you now,
So, why will those words be easier, “ because “ you shout even louder “ there are less words to choose from “
Of course, obvious really, there you go, a quick sample of the standard to expect on here.
What going already?
So my major question is: how do I choose one?
Throw it open to the general public? And then wait for years for no one to reply as I am the only person on here or who ever visits? or wait for someone to use a word beginning with A which instantly takes me by the throat and says “Hey I’m Here “
See I have gone to all this trouble and still don’t really know what I want to achieve
Well I do really, in wanna achieve the target of reaching 85 years of age and still having some hair on my head, and at least five of my own teeth, not that I harbour ambitions of having anyone else’s teeth in my mouth. That’s not really me.
But that’s nothing to do with the A – Z. which I am nor realizing is a bit of a pain, having to start with the letter A. because I have a great thing to write about R and RUBBER, people who know me, and those who don’t but have read the police reports and psychiatric reports on me will know that rubber and me just don’t bounce. Been some interesting times, but you will have to wait for that one.
So I went to this really great web sit
http://phrontistery.info/a.html
and got a whole load of interesting words beginning with , I spent the best part of an hour reading them and the definitions, but don’t tell the boss he thought I was researching new weighing scales for the fork lift
but I did find a few words I liked
abasement, now you thought it meant a room underground didn’t you. I.e. you have abasement under your house, but wrong, see how good this site is
aby, now that’s got to be a smaller version of a religious place, but lets not talk RELIGION now, save that for the R’s. cause you just know that’s going to be a real pain in the R’s . But now it does not have anything to do with religion. So its got to be a good word
Amice, now all two of you out there who know me will cringe that I have put this in, as I hate mice. I would run a mile from a pack of mice with spears and axes looking to rape an pillage hamsters and gerbils, amice is one of gods mistakes, along with a whole region of Mid America and a region of the North West of England, but we can get to them later, as long as they don’t steal the Blog and sell it at a car boot.
Apivorous, now this one means eating Bees. But does it mean bees eating, or bees being eaten? We need to know. Why I am not sure but it seems the right thing to say right now. And do two rights make a wrong,?
At least I have not started on the poetry. Think yourself lucky
So I need to get started on a word.
Do I do one of each letter?
Or a number of words for each letter?
And then when I get to X, Q, Z is it going to be as easy as it was at D or P or S?
Easier probably I hear you say, well no I can’t hear you so say it louder please. I am getting old and my ears are getting old as well. Remember they are about the oldest part on my body, so treat them gently
That’s better I can hear you now,
So, why will those words be easier, “ because “ you shout even louder “ there are less words to choose from “
Of course, obvious really, there you go, a quick sample of the standard to expect on here.
What going already?
So my major question is: how do I choose one?
Throw it open to the general public? And then wait for years for no one to reply as I am the only person on here or who ever visits? or wait for someone to use a word beginning with A which instantly takes me by the throat and says “Hey I’m Here “
See I have gone to all this trouble and still don’t really know what I want to achieve
Well I do really, in wanna achieve the target of reaching 85 years of age and still having some hair on my head, and at least five of my own teeth, not that I harbour ambitions of having anyone else’s teeth in my mouth. That’s not really me.
But that’s nothing to do with the A – Z. which I am nor realizing is a bit of a pain, having to start with the letter A. because I have a great thing to write about R and RUBBER, people who know me, and those who don’t but have read the police reports and psychiatric reports on me will know that rubber and me just don’t bounce. Been some interesting times, but you will have to wait for that one.
So I went to this really great web sit
http://phrontistery.info/a.html
and got a whole load of interesting words beginning with , I spent the best part of an hour reading them and the definitions, but don’t tell the boss he thought I was researching new weighing scales for the fork lift
but I did find a few words I liked
abasement, now you thought it meant a room underground didn’t you. I.e. you have abasement under your house, but wrong, see how good this site is
aby, now that’s got to be a smaller version of a religious place, but lets not talk RELIGION now, save that for the R’s. cause you just know that’s going to be a real pain in the R’s . But now it does not have anything to do with religion. So its got to be a good word
Amice, now all two of you out there who know me will cringe that I have put this in, as I hate mice. I would run a mile from a pack of mice with spears and axes looking to rape an pillage hamsters and gerbils, amice is one of gods mistakes, along with a whole region of Mid America and a region of the North West of England, but we can get to them later, as long as they don’t steal the Blog and sell it at a car boot.
Apivorous, now this one means eating Bees. But does it mean bees eating, or bees being eaten? We need to know. Why I am not sure but it seems the right thing to say right now. And do two rights make a wrong,?
At least I have not started on the poetry. Think yourself lucky
So I need to get started on a word.
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
Introduction
Well this is it.
The first of a regular blog where i just ramble along and see where i end up.
Come with me for the ride, or just follow on and enjoy the view, hopefully it will get better as it grows
Somethings may be better than others, some may be worse. and some may be nothing at all. i have been known to talk for hours about nothing.
I am hoping to go through the alphabet from a - z, naturally, organically or even scientifically, and hope to have some interesting conversations on the way.
I can and will lapse in to poetry, and ramble off at tangents and even turn 360 degrees.
the object is fun.
Lets enjoy
The first of a regular blog where i just ramble along and see where i end up.
Come with me for the ride, or just follow on and enjoy the view, hopefully it will get better as it grows
Somethings may be better than others, some may be worse. and some may be nothing at all. i have been known to talk for hours about nothing.
I am hoping to go through the alphabet from a - z, naturally, organically or even scientifically, and hope to have some interesting conversations on the way.
I can and will lapse in to poetry, and ramble off at tangents and even turn 360 degrees.
the object is fun.
Lets enjoy
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